How Can I Look After My Mental Health During Divorce?

Separation and divorce will often bring significant changes to every aspect of life. For your home, finances, routines, and, of course, relationships. It can be a challenging time and with all the legal issues and logistical practicalities, you may feel you don’t have time to concentrate on your own wellbeing. However, looking after your mental health is vital for your own wellbeing and will help you deal with the legal process with greater clarity and resilience.

The divorce process will often bring with it a range of feelings. It is common to feel grief, anger, guilt, and fear of the future. This may lead to stress, insomnia, anxiety, and depression. You may feel isolated or overwhelmed, particularly when children or financial pressures are involved. Divorce may also intensify existing wellbeing issues.

Feeling anxious and potentially depressed can happen in divorce. You may find yourself struggling to concentrate, feeling constantly worried, or experiencing panic attacks. There can be feelings of persistent sadness, a loss of interest in activities, changes in appetite or sleep, and a sense of hopelessness. If this is the case, seeking professional support is important. Talking to a psychotherapist can help manage these feelings and assist in developing healthy coping strategies.

The first step is to acknowledge how you feel and what you are going through. Divorce is not just a legal process. Prioritising self-care is crucial. Try and keep in touch and connected with trusted friends or family. Maintain a good routine with regular meals, sleep, and physical activity. This can help bring a sense of control. Try and limit conflict if communication with your ex-partner is difficult. Divorce represents the loss of a relationship and the future you once envisioned. Give yourself permission to feel that and allow yourself to grieve. Regular sessions with a psychotherapist/ counsellor who is experienced in working with divorce can help provide a safe space to talk through your feelings and help provide a positive way forward.

If your mental health severely affects your ability to understand or engage in legal proceedings, it is important to speak to your solicitor as early as possible. In some cases, the court may require a capacity assessment to ensure you are able to make informed decisions. We understand how complex this intersection of mental health and legal capacity can be and can help ensure our clients are supported.

Mental health can influence divorce settlements, particularly in cases involving child arrangements or financial dependency. For example, if a parent has a serious mental health condition, it may be taken into account when determining child living arrangements. A spouse with a long-term mental illness may require ongoing financial support, such as spousal maintenance. However, having a mental health condition does not automatically place you at a disadvantage. With the right support and documentation, the court aims to reach a fair and balanced outcome for all parties involved.

Regular counselling sessions will provide a confidential space to process emotions and develop coping strategies. You can also try mindfulness and breathing exercises that can help manage stress and ground you during difficult moments. Setting boundaries is important – try and limit interactions that are triggering and take control over what information you engage with, especially on social media. Work with a family law solicitor who communicates clearly and helps reduce uncertainty where possible.

Divorce can be challenging and protecting your mental wellbeing will allow you to make clear decisions, build emotional resilience, and move forward with strength and clarity. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you don’t have to manage it all by yourself. We can offer in-house therapeutic support alongside expert legal guidance. If you are going through a separation or divorce and need emotional or legal support, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Specialist legal advice is of course essential, but we also know that professional and effective emotional support and additional practical help through counselling and divorce coaching can be crucial to your wellbeing. It can make a huge difference, providing you with a regular, safe and confidential space to explore your feelings and find a way forward that works for you. Therapy and divorce coaching is an empowering process that can be truly transformational and life changing.

To benefit from effective emotional support during your divorce, it’s important to work with a professional who is experienced and well-qualified. I have a degree in Psychology, a PGDip in Research Methods, an MSc in Integrative Psychotherapy. I have specialised in separation and divorce for over ten years. I’ve also worked extensively as a counsellor for MIND – the UK’s leading mental health charity – and am an accredited member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP).

To make an appointment talk to your solicitor or contact me on 07792 646784, email new.emma@gmail.com or visit my website.