My Partner Wants a Divorce. What Happens Next?

Has your partner asked you for a divorce? This can come as a surprise and may leave you feeling confused, hurt, and struggling to process what is happening. It is normal to experience feelings of grief, uncertainty and even anger. If children are involved, you may be contemplating how to explain this to them, and what the future may look like for them. Here we explain the steps you should take when your spouse tells you they want a divorce.

The first step is to think about what is most important to you, to figure out your goals. If you can speak to your partner, you may want to work out what their goals are and where those align with yours. You will want to consider how best to work through any disagreement and this is where legal advice will help you to understand the options available.

If your spouse has indicated they want to divorce and/or have applied for a divorce, we always recommend getting advice from a specialist family law solicitor as early as possible. A divorce lawyer will be able to listen to your concerns, provide expert advice on your individual situation, and guide you through the options available to you and the next steps in the process. This will include those matters that go hand in hand with a divorce including how to divide the finances, child arrangements and anything else that is of concern to you during this time.

Our experienced divorce lawyers will work closely with clients to determine the best approach, whether that involves mediation, collaborative law, arbitration, or a more traditional lawyer-led process. Many of our clients tell us they feel a significant sense of relief after their first conversation with a divorce solicitor, knowing they have the right support in place.

It is important not to neglect your own feelings and ensure you seek out the support that you need. This support may be from friends and family and you can also consider professional support from an experienced counsellor. You may find that the emotional support that comes from counselling is useful when working through difficult and challenging times. It can also help provide essential clarity to help you process and make decisions for your future.

If you share children with your spouse you should start to consider child maintenance payments. Child maintenance is a recurring payment made by one parent to the other to contribute towards the cost of raising their children and help ensure that your children’s financial needs are met after divorce. The amount is determined based on various factors, including income and living arrangements.

The Child Maintenance Service (CMS) manages child maintenance claims, but a family lawyer can assist in navigating any issues, whether through direct negotiation, the CMS, or, in rare cases, the court system.

It is important to try and gather as much information as you can about your financial situation. This should include assets such as property, investments, and pensions, as well as details of bank accounts, outstanding mortgages, loans, or debts. While you don’t need exact figures from the outset, having a clear overview of your financial circumstances will help your divorce lawyer to start planning effectively. The more prepared you are, the easier it will be to work towards a fair and informed settlement that secures the best possible outcome for your future.

The initial court fee is £593 (at time of writing), and usually the person who applies for the divorce will pay this. You can however agree to split the cost of this fee, or for example agree to pay for this out of a joint account. If it is a joint application, the first applicant will usually pay this fee, but again it is at your discretion. Thereafter, generally, each party will pay their own costs, which includes any legal fees.

There is much confusion on this topic and the simple answer is ‘no’. Often there will be a number of assets, including the family home, pensions, and savings. Although a 50/50 split is often the starting point, in many cases there simply is not enough to go round. In these circumstances, the courts will look at what is fair, with the first consideration being any children. Factors the court must consider include looking at each of your needs, both now and in the future; where the children will live and their needs; and your current and future earning capacities. After this, they will try to achieve a fair and reasonable split that allows each of you to live separately.

Ready to take the next step? As leading divorce lawyers in Milton Keynes, our team of family law specialists can advise and guide you from the moment we start working with you. We also have offices in Watford, Bicester and London. Talk to us in confidence and find out where you stand. Get in touch – we’re here to help.

This article is intended for the use of our clients and other interested parties. The information contained in it reflects the author’s view and is believed to be correct at the date of publication. However, it is necessarily of a brief and general nature and should not be relied upon as a substitute for specific professional legal advice.